tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459132602813393612.post7550358261903876714..comments2018-08-08T21:01:13.681-07:00Comments on One woman, many truths: Repeat to fade: a healing process or pathway to eternal victim?Prudencehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03857546622091578812noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459132602813393612.post-89048028953430598502011-04-19T15:36:11.599-07:002011-04-19T15:36:11.599-07:00I have read your whole post and I cannot explain h...I have read your whole post and I cannot explain how much your life story resembles mine. Almost perfectly. Same cycle: date rape, promiscuity, (I even had sex for money several times), self-blaming, repeating cycles, bad, abusive relationship after I became a stronger person, self awareness, now in a good relationship with someone who knows everything about me. Only that my rape happened when I was 14... now 19, admitted to myself I was raped only few months ago.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459132602813393612.post-15782658825029604032009-09-01T13:10:09.896-07:002009-09-01T13:10:09.896-07:00Hello Anonymous, welcome to my blog. I came here t...Hello Anonymous, welcome to my blog. I came here to write my truths to help me understand my feelings and to make the first step towards being honest and open about the things which have happened to me. It's sad that so many women keep these things to themselves, and I thought I'd at least break my own cycle and I hoped that I might be able to help others too. <br /><br />I was very grateful to Hexy for commenting and she said she identified with everything and she was brave in bringing up her feelings. I welcome all comment and I haven't changed my post (that was my initial over-reaction), but I hope I've helped her to see that we can share our thoughts and feelings and be ok with each other if we're at odds in some places. I don't want people to be scared of commenting here, but I thank you for your supportive comments and I will certainly try to be true to myself first and foremost.<br /><br />It's a huge learning curve!<br /><br />Sorry to hear that you have suffered too. Have you written about your experience anywhere? Do you want to write here? <br /><br />I don't get here very often - I really do just reserve this place to admit my very huge deeply-hidden truths and it takes a long time to process them. I'm happy that people are finding this blog and I welcome all visitors, but I can't promise to be very active!Prudencenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459132602813393612.post-50231517303870600702009-08-27T13:43:01.291-07:002009-08-27T13:43:01.291-07:00Don't ever apologize for stating your own thou...Don't ever apologize for stating your own thoughts. You're letting her take command of your own thoughts and feelings. You go ahead and state how you felt and do feel now if you want. We all seem to react the same when it comes to rape. We need to relive it all over again to finally be the one in control. It is a shame, but God bless you for your courage to write this. It will help other women and educate some men. P.S. It happened to me too, at nineteen.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459132602813393612.post-52423482815996768372009-05-26T07:59:38.192-07:002009-05-26T07:59:38.192-07:00Oh thank god. You're the first person to comment h...Oh thank god. You're the first person to comment here and I didn't want to have offended you! All I can do is be totally and utterly honest here about my feelings and my observations and my theories and the processes which I have been through. <br /><br />I'm amazed that someone has come here and identified with what I'd written, I thought that what I admitted here seemed to be particularly screwed up, but to find that someone else understands my processes (with the one small exception above) is amazing actually. All these years of thinking that my reactions were abnormal and then I find out that actually they were not. It's powerful stuff.Prudencenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459132602813393612.post-11072832696736843692009-05-26T06:44:01.096-07:002009-05-26T06:44:01.096-07:00I actually really appreciate your response. I norm...I actually really appreciate your response. I normally would have avoided saying anything, but I guess the similarities in our stories up til that point made me feel kinda... defensive? Betrayed? Something. I apologise if that made me sound too harsh.<br /><br />Your explanation makes sense, and this "in fact perhaps the fact that it was unreasonable and down on women was part of the indication of how fucked up the whole experience left me" resonated with me a lot.<br /><br />Don't take it down. It's otherwise a great post.hexyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12189529529520498603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459132602813393612.post-72587161136579481802009-05-26T04:18:44.640-07:002009-05-26T04:18:44.640-07:00Oh dear. I'm sorry if I've caused any offence here...Oh dear. I'm sorry if I've caused any offence here. I might not have entirely explained where I was coming from writing this post. This is all just written from my point of view. I had a fucked up idea of sex and I thought at the time that I could easily have fallen into prostitution becaus of it. I'm not trying to make any assumptions about anyone else. This is how I felt at the time - in fact perhaps the fact that it was unreasonable and down on women was part of the indication of how fucked up the whole experience left me. Personally. I don't have anything against anyone for the choices they make and I don't pretend to know much from the perspective of the sex worker, but I'd like to know more if you can point me towards some good sources.<br /><br />I'm glad you found some things here which you identified with and I hope that you've not been put off by what you found to be offensive.<br /><br />I am deeply sorry if I've written something phobic, that was not my intention. I feel I should leave it now though so that others can join in this conversation if they wish to, or would it be better to revise?Prudencenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5459132602813393612.post-28048654079495657532009-05-25T22:29:21.736-07:002009-05-25T22:29:21.736-07:00You know, I empathised so much with this piece, an...You know, I empathised so much with this piece, and so much of it was familiar, that I actually had tears in my eyes reading it. Whole swathes of it could have been written by me.<br /><br />And then I hit this bit: <I>I felt I could understand how women get into prostitution and I know that if I'd been short of money I'd have seen nothing wrong with it. Something inside had died, the romance attached to sex, the intimacy, it just all seemed like people pounding (whether consensually or not) on each other for thrills, not any kind of act of love. The emotional connection had been lost, and I have to say that I've never completely reconnected it.<br /></I>Whoa. That's... really fucked up and offensive. Once traumatised you understood how women could do such a terrible thing as become sex workers, because clearly we're all damaged and have fucked up ideas of sex? Not cool.<br /><br />I appreciate how your trauma made you feel you'd changed. As one survivor to another, I'm sorry you went through what you did, and I admire your strength in getting through it. But the whorephobic assumptions and language didn't need to be part of this post.hexyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12189529529520498603noreply@blogger.com